Greymom gave me this award.

I am flattered to receive this award because i didn’t expect that there are people who enjoy reading my blog.

Thanks for this award Greymom!

I would also like to pass this award to some of my blog friends though I know that they have already received this award: Toni, Anitokid, Teacher Julie, and Mitch.

I am writing this entry while waiting for my Baked Cannelloni with Beef Filling to cook. A friend of mine told me that she had tasted a pasta dish using Cannelloni that according to her was so delicious. So I bought a box of Cannelloni from the grocery and try it for myself.

I actually bought it in September and intended to cook it for my birthday, but wasn’t able to do so because a family member passed away during that time. Since it’s my free time today and there’ll be a small family gathering later, I decided to finally try it.

Here are the ingredients I used:

150 g of Cannelloni
600 grams ground beef (set aside 1/2 cup)
1 medium chopped onion (divided)
1 TBSP chopped garlic (divided)
2 pcs Knorr beef cubes
1 can button mushroom (chopped)
2 cups Spaghetti sauce (divided)
1 cup tomato paste (divided)
1 tsp dried basil leaves
water
salt and pepper
grated cheese

Here’s a picture of the Cannelloni

Here’s the procedure:

For the meat filling, sauté the onion and garlic, then add the ground beef and 1 beef cube. Season with pepper and dried basil leaves. Add 1 cup of water and simmer it for 5 minutes. Add 1 cup of spaghetti sauce and ½ cup of tomato paste. Simmer it for another 3 minutes. Set aside. (Note: The meat filling should not be ‘saucy’).

For the sauce, just do the same. You just need to add more water.

You are now ready to arrange the pasta. First, you should put some sauce in the baking pan as your base. Then stuff the uncooked pasta with meat. Arrange the pasta in the baking dish, but leave some space between them to give enough space for expansion. Pour the sauce over the stuffed cannelloni, ensuring that it penetrates to the bottom of the dish. Top with grated cheese. Cover dish with aluminum foil and bake for 45 minutes, removing the foil for the final 10 minutes.

The dish is ready!

and look how Andre loved it!

I have received my first ever blog award.

It is a friendship award given by my friend Toni. She’s not just a blog friend, but also a friend during college days.

Thank you for the award Toni and for the friendship even if we haven’t seen each other for quite a while. Hope to see you soon.

I would also like to share this award to Anitokid, emmyrose, mommy chi, and greymom.

Yesterday was my father-in-law’s 1st death anniversary. We miss him so much. I would like to share with you his story, which my husband has written a year ago…

My Dad’s Story

When I was a child, he always tells my mom secretly that he will lose his job at the age of 40 and die at the age of 55. These are some of his “prophecies”.

At the age of 40, the company where my Dad used to work as a production supervisor shut down. The company gave them their separation pay and my dad used the money to buy a brand new Suzuki motorcycle-tricycle for our family income.

On April 23, 2004, he celebrated his 55th birthday. On April 26, around 3 pm afternoon, my dad vomited lots of pure blood. We rushed him to the nearest hospital (Nazarenus Hospital) and met Dra. Clarissa Lucero, a Gastroenterologist. She discussed the reason why it happened and what caused him to vomit such amount of blood. She said that the veins near his esophagus ruptured because his liver is not functioning well due to liver cirrhosis. A pressure build-up happened. The doctor told us that an “endoscopic ligation” should be performed immediately. She assured us that our dad will regain his lost blood but honestly told us that patients with liver cirrhosis normally live for only 6 to 12 months. Thank God that my father successfully surpassed the procedure.

He was 55 years old then, and thought about his “prophecies”, which mad me anxious during that time. We were able to pay the hospital bill, which amounted to almost PHP150,000 through loans and assistance.

Since then, my dad has to go to his doctor for his regular check-up and endoscopic ligation every 3 months. We got used to it……the regular check-ups and usual confinement at the hospital. We got used to it na papasok kami sa hospital and lalabas din kasama si tatay. He had also his hospital confinement due to facial chickenpox. He had his regular check ups and undergone laboratory procedures to determine his actual condition. He also suffered from gallstone. I searched from the Internet to find ways on how to eradicate the gallstone, and found that juice from a mixture of fresh radish, carrots, and apple juice is an effective cure. So, it helped, it really helped without taking other medications. My dad is not allowed to undergo a surgery since it may cause a massive bleeding that may cause his early death.

Come September 10, 2006, he was confined due to pneumonia because the water that accumulated on his stomach due to ascitis went up to his lungs. Can you imagine it, that the amount of water drained from his right lungs was around 4 liters! Too much! With God’s grace, he again survived. My dad’s stomach shrunk little by little.

On October 3, 2006, I received a text from my mom telling that, “Nagpatawag na ng ministro ang tatay nyo”. (My dad is asking for a minister to bless and pray for him). I got stunned and immediately asked permission to go home. There was never in his hospitalization/confinement that he asked for a prayer from a minister and oil to be anointed on him. That morning, the Minister wasn’t available, but a neighbor deacon took charge for the prayer. This deacon is someone he doesn’t want the attitude, someone na “kinatitisuran nya”. As I remember, there was a time that they had a heated conversation and we just thought that they were able to fix everything before my dad passed away.

After that prayer, he was rushed again to the hospital because his stomach expanded again due to water accumulation. I thought that this was another usual thing because I saw no difference with his attitude and response. It’s just that he had so much stomach and back pain. We waited for his doctor to arrive. After 2 hours of waiting, his doctor arrived. We thought that Tatay will get mad because he told us earlier that we should go home because he thought that his doctor won’t be able to come. Parang nagtatampo sya. But, when the doctor arrived, he told his doctor in a sweet way, “akala ko dok pinbayaan mo na ako e”.

The doctor checked his condition and suggested that she has to insert a tubing on his stomach to reduce the water that accumulated inside his stomach. This was the same procedure they performed when he had his pneumonia. The procedure was supposed to be performed in my dad’s room, but the doctor noticed that my dad is a little bit drowsy. So, to make sure, the doctor suggested that the operation be performed inside the ICU.

I know deep inside that my father is thinking about the hospital expenses, since he knew that we spent at least 30 thousand during his last confinement. That’s the reason why he wanted to just go home and rest there. I whispered to him that “Tay, di kami pepwede sa ICU ha, ikaw lang ang nanduon”, he replied, “Oo”.

The procedure was done right away and was able to suck out 2 liters of water. But, something’s wrong because the fluid should be clear as urine, but the fluid that was sucked from his lungs was turbid. Laboratory analysis confirmed that there was an infection in his stomach.

The following day, I reported to work. I did my work ahead of time, diluted and filled the storage tank, since I am anticipating a leave due to my father’s condition. Before lunchtime, my sister called and told me that we need something to decide upon. By 3 pm, I left the plant and went straight to the hospital. My sister told me that the doctor suggested that my father should undergo dialysis. But before that, a blood transfusion should be performed first. According to the doctor, the dialysis will remove the toxin in his body but there was no assurance how extensive it would be. However, the doctor assured us that it will be a single-dialysis set-up, not the usual dialysis that we know. At first, my mom was hesitant because in our knowledge and experiences, patients undergoing dialysis just spent large amount of money and still nothing happened. It just increased the hurting of the patient and their loved ones.

My dad doesn’t want to undergo another procedure due to expenses. But when my mom jokingly said to him that Medicard will shoulder the expenses up to PHP100,000, he right away said, “Tawagan n yung surgeon and salinan na agad ako ng dugo”. For us, it only means that he’ll fight for his life, and wanted to live more. We know he wants to see Andre grow up and give him some kind of Lolo’s wordings.

So, we have agreed to pursue the dialysis. On that night, I went to the National Kidney Institute in Quezon City to purchase the solution and the dialysis set-up tubes that would be needed in the said procedure. In case blood transfusion was needed, bloods were already standing by. Around 10PM, we were asked by the nurse to sign a waiver for my dad needed to have a respirator and intubations. Earlier, the doctor discussed this matter to us that if this time comes, we will have to decide afterwards who will remove the tubing from his lungs, which is somewhat called “mercy killing”.

For 20 minutes, no one wanted to make a decision. We were all weighing the options and possibilities. In my heart, I know Dad will just suffer and I don’t want that to happen. As I can remember, he asked his doctor before that, “pag mamatay ba ako doktora, mahihrapan ba ako?”. The doctor replied, “hihiga ka lang.”

The nurse kept on asking us but we couldn’t decide what to do. Then, we decided to go to the ICU and checked our dad’s condition. We got to talk with him pa nga. My sister asked him, “Tay, lalagyan kyo ng tubo sa baga, payag ba kyo?”…Tatay replied, “para san ba yun?”. “Para makaluwag kyo sa paghinga, and kasi bumababa na yung oxgen level nyo sa katawan, normal is 90 pero sa inyo 78 lang”, my sister told him. After hearing the explanation, he convincingly replied to go ahead. My sister asked him again, “Masakit yun, lalaban ba kyo?”. He again replied “Oo”.

After that, we signed the waiver and went out the ICU smiling. We know that the situation we have is 50-50, but we have a positive outlook because the patient wants to ‘fight’. After hearing that to my dad, I said to myself that whatever cost and expenses, we will struggle. Upon installing the intubation, the oxygen level rose to 94 and the dialysis started.

Around 3Am of October 5, the nurse asked again to sign a waiver to put a tube in his nose for medicine and food intake. I know my dad is really suffering na. But, I said yes.

On that same day, I am preparing my self when worse comes to worst. I asked my mom that when worse comes to worst, where would be the wake. It was the same question pala that my mom wanted to ask us. We have limited space in our house. We will ask our lola if they will let us use the old house. Another option would be to rent a funeral parlor.

We also discussed where would be the burial, since we aren’t prepared for it. We will ask again our lola if she would allow Tatay’s body to be buried together with our Lolo’s grave.

We also discussed what would he wear? She told us that his Barong tagalong is already washed but not pressed.

As early as 7am, I went to my uncle to ask for some advice. I told him about the situation and agreed upon to back me up in asking the permission to use the old house for the wake. But, we did not agree on the idea of joining my dad’s body to our Lolo’s grave. He suggested us to look for the ‘apartment type’ graveyard at the Lias Memorial.

I went home and told my wife, Bang, to press the Barong Tagalog and it looked okay. I asked her to accompany me in checking the apartment type graveyard. It was located at the farthest place of the memorial and in my mind, I don’t want to place my dad in that location. Bang suggested to buy a memorial lot in installment basis and I accepted that good idea. But, the memorial office was closed at that time. So, we returned to the hospital and discussed the matter wit our mom. We asked one of our aunts to inquire on how much would be the downpayment and monthly amortization if we are going to buy a burial ground, since she has an idea regarding this matter because she has purchased a burial ground earlier. She told us not to worry about the grave because she’ll allow us to use her purchased lot. It was a very much appreciated offer, but asked if her husband knows the situation. She replied that there’s no problem, it’s mine and I am the one who pays the amortization. So the anticipated problem where solved as early as that.

Friends and relatives continued to visit my dad. They were all there to give financial and moral support.

At around 2pm, we saw the doctor rushing to the ICU. We asked her what happened and told us that she’s looking for another patient. After 15 minutes, she went out of the ICU and discussed to us that my dad’s albumin level is only 1 and is decreasing. If the albumin level is below the accepted limit, all the medicine will be no help. The doctor told us that there is a medicine that will increase the level of albumin, but is costly. She told us that if we’ll ask her, she will not push us to buy the medicine if the money will come from our own pockets. But, if our health card will approve the PHP100,000 limit, we will use all the resources. Then, the doctor went down to her clinic.

After 5 minutes, I followed her and asked her how much would be the cost of the medicine that will increase my dad’s albumin. In my mind, kung one-time medicine lang yun, and it will cost me 20K, ok lang. The doctor smiled at me and said, “Kuya, talagang laban ka pa ha! Iba talaga ang magkamukha.” She told me that the medicine costs PHP4,000 to be taken every 12 hours, but there still no assurance that his albumin will increase because of the toxins on his body.

Around 3PM, the doctor again rushes to the ICU. We asked her again and replied the same. After 40 minutes, she went out of the ICU, and told us the real situation. She told us that we need not buy the medicine prescribed by the Kidney specialist, since meron pa nmn daw sa loob, wag muna mag stock dahil di pa alam ang next condition ni tatay.

She told us that last Tuesday, my dad talked to him that he wanted to go out and just rest in our house. My dad is worrying for the expenses. My dad said, “Alam mo ba doktora, na kung hindi naman ako naoospital at nagkakasakit ng ganito, mayaman na yung dalawang anak ko.” This was the message that made me proud of myself because I know Dad knows that we were always there everytime he needed us. Before, myself, my sister and my mom usually talk about my dad because he was “matigas ang ulo sa pag-inom ng gamot and pagkain”. We always tell to ourselves that doesn’t he realize the costs we spent with his medicines and hospitalizations. But, what his doctor told us erased all our assumptions. We realized that he knows what we are doing for him. He was just not so expressive with what he feels.

The doctor also told us that we have to talk to our father while he’s still alive. She reminded us of what she told us before that we only have 6-12 months to be with our dad. She told us that dad is so lucky that God has extended his life for about 2 ½ years. We are very thankful and I know my Dad also knows that. It was a bonus, she jokingly said. The doctor wonders why my dad still not giving up his life since 2pm. The doctor admitted to us that the patient made her to rush on the ICU a while ago was our dad. That time, dad’s heart condition was erratic. Most of the time, pag ganun ang scenario, bumibigay na agad ang pasyente. But, not on my father’s case. Maybe, he’s waiting for something. She admitted to us that this might be the night, the night that my dad will give up. So she’ll just stay at the hospital and not go home just to check on him. She suggested us to talk to our dad and tell him all the things we wanted to tell him.

So, we did. My mom and my sister went inside the ICU first. Then I followed then after 5 minutes, that was around 4:10 PM. My sister was able to tell my dad all the things she wanted to tell him. As I enter, I heard her say to my dad, the last word to my dad actually, “Tay, eto na si abeth, tingnan nyo na”. I noticed that Thursday morning, the eye opening of my dad was only ¼ of the usual. But that time, the time I entered the ICU, I saw his eyeball ¾ opening. Knowing that he hears what my sister told him. My sister’s last words, “Tay, tingnan nyo na ako, tingnan nyo na si abeth” (he then rolled his eyeballs, stared at me for 10-20 sec and swallowed (as if he’s trying to say something, even my mom noticed this), and forcefully rolled his eyes to look at my mom. Right after their eyeballs met, he gave up. That was the last scene. He said goodbye to us. CPR was applied but to no avail.

My dad was gone.

I know that he wanted to say thank you for everything, for giving him worth life. He wanted to say to take good care of my sister and mother. He once said, “si nanay nyo na ang nakita kong pinakamabait na asawa, alagaan nyo sya pag nawala ako. Pag di ko kaya magsuot ng underwear, sya ang gumagawa”. That was a very touching line I heard from my sister’s story.

During the wake, a STL agent, which is a family friend, told us that our dad has bet certain amount for the 4-17 combination. As I remember, si tatay, pag tumataya ng ganyan at napanaginipan nya, lagi tumatama. Kaya si nanay kinukulit sya kung san nakuha yung number na yun. Ang sabi lang, ala yun ang nagbigay nun patay na. Later on, we found out that the person he dreamt of who gave that number was Mang Carlos, dad’s friend who died 2 yrs ago. So, dad kept on betting. We were analyzing the significance of 4-17. We thought maybe it was Andre’s birthday, 5-17-2006. So the kwentuhan stopped when Bang received a call from her sister in Canada. That was 3AM. After 30 minutes, as I analyzed and thought of the significance of that number. I remembered that while we were still in the ICU, the doctor asked me if she should still apply CPR on Tatay. The time during that situation was 4:13 or 4:14. Kinilabutan ako, dahil at least close sa 4:17 yung time na namatay sya, maybe in his body clock that was 4:17. And I’m thinking that maybe the exact time of his death was 4:17 PM. I asked Bang to check her cellphone to see the time I sent the message that tatay was gone, but Bang accidentally erased the message from her cellphone. So I just checked the cellphones of my tita the following morning, and found out that the exact time I sent the message, “nirerevive na lang si tatay”, was 4:17. Isn’t it spooky?

As we remember all his so-called ‘Prophecies’, which actually happened, we never thought that that would be his last prophecy on his own life.

On his last march on October 10, 2007, we passed by his body at the church and at his TODA (tricycle drivers organization) terminal before going to the Memorial.

I’m just happy that even for a while, he was able to see his grandchild and was able to take care of him in the shortest time. At least, he had experienced to be called “Lolo”. I know that he was able to say goodbye to all, from our minister, aunties, friend, and even the TODA vendor, thru the so-called ‘premonition’. We never thought that the last conversation we had would be the last. We really miss you dad.

Here’s a message for you dad:

Dad, thanks for everything, for making me what I am now. I know you are proud of me. You have lived your life very well. Again, thank you. I love you!

Since I have no work to submit today, I have so much of my time to bake, cook, and go to the mall last weekend. For last Saturday’s dinner, I baked Mango Cake and cooked Java Rice and Baked Pork Spare Ribs with Lemon.

I’ve been thinking of what to bake that would be different for the regular cakes I bake. I usually bake chocolate cakes, mocha cakes, and brownies. Since I wanted to try a white-based cake, I tried this new recipe, which I got from the internet. I chose this recipe because mango is one of my favorite fruits and all the ingredients are easy to find and readily available in my kitchen. So here’s the outcome…

For the Baked Pork Spare Ribs with Lemon, I marinated the pork with the juice from 1 lemon, soy sauce, some sugar, tomato sauce, salt, and a few dashes of dried thyme and dried basil leaves. I marinated it for about 6 hours inside the refrigerator and baked it for 2 hours afterwards. I like baking because it makes my life easier. You can do other things while waiting for the dish to be cooked. You just have to leave everything inside the oven and voilà your dish is ready.

While baking, I cooked the Java Rice. We love Java Rice as well as green rice and Paotsin’s rice! That’s why I kept trying cooking various rice dishes. Here in the Philippines, I usually see it in restaurants who serve sizzling dishes. But, not all of them tasted good. So I decided to try my own Java Rice and found it so easy.

So here’s how. Set aside 6 cups of cooked rice. Heat ¼ cup of cooking oil then sauté 1 medium-sized onion and 3 cloves chopped garlic, and then add 2 chopped red chili. Add 1/3 cup of soy sauce with 2 tsp of sugar, 4 tbsp tomato catsup and finally, the cooked rice. Stir it very well until the rice is all well-coated.

Oh before I forget, I also made a sauce for the Spare Ribs by pouring out the sauce and drippings from the spare ribs’ marinade. I simmered it for a few minutes and added some cornstarch dissolved in cold water to thicken it. Here’s the outcome….

Our friend Chito dropped by our house and joined us for dinner. He’s so lucky to taste the dishes I prepared for the night. Hehe. They enjoy the dinner. My husband just loved the Java rice. Pinakamasarap na Java rice daw. Hehehe. It goes well with the Baked spare ribs. They also loved the Mango Cake for dessert. The cake was soft and the icing was sweet enough. My husband praised me for the cake design, it’s almost perfect. According to him, my icing skills are almost perfect and encouraged me to enroll to a cake decorating class to enhance my “icing skills”. I will surely enroll one of these days.